I Can’t Touch Them
By Adam Dixon
Mummy and daddy won’t talk to me anymore. That makes me sad. Ever since the nice men and ladies in the white coats stopped giving me my medicine they haven’t said a word to me. I don’t know why. I thought mummy would be happy now. It used to make her so sad to watch me take my medicine, but she would pretend that it didn’t. I thought she would smile again now that I don’t need it. I don’t hurt anymore and I used to hurt all the time, especially at night. So why are mummy and daddy still so sad?
There are lots of things that I don’t need anymore. I don’t need to use the toilet at all, which is really good! It was so annoying having to ask one of the nice ladies to help me when I needed to poop, so I don’t miss that much. I miss eating, but not with the tubes in my nose. They made my throat itchy and I couldn’t scratch them. I miss the food I used to eat before I stayed in the big white building, like chocolate and crisps and apple pies and custard…and beans on toast and cereal and runny eggs with lots of chips and ketchup! Or the big cake with the four candles I got for my birthday! I really miss mummy’s orange juice too, but she doesn’t make that anymore.
I’ve tried talking to mummy and daddy, but they won’t speak to me. I’ve tried yelling at them, and mummy always hated that. I even tried yelling one of the big-boy words that daddy uses when he hurts himself. Mummy used to shout at him for saying them in front of me, and I used to laugh at daddy’s face. It didn’t work, though. I cried and cried and cried but they carried on sitting in the house, staring at the walls and holding hands.
I’ve tried touching them, too. My hands slip through them like when I put my hand through the water from a tap; it was really scary at first. I tried to hug mummy when I woke up in the house after the pain had stopped, but I just ran through her. She felt warm and I could smell her perfume. I tried to pull daddy’s beard the way I used to, but my hands went through his head. I can’t touch anything in the house either. I’ve tried to knock things off the shelves when I’ve gotten angry at mummy and daddy for not talking to me, but the same thing happens. Mummy has tidied my bedroom but I can’t touch my dinosaur toys or my chewy blanket. I don’t understand why.
Mummy and daddy look tired. They haven’t slept properly in days because they keep waking up during the night crying. That makes me sad, too. I don’t need to sleep anymore, so I stand in their room and watch them. Daddy called out my name one night and cried for so long. It hurts to see daddy cry. I tried to answer him but he didn’t hear me. Grandma and grandad came around before, but they didn’t speak to me either. They just sat with mummy and daddy and they all hugged and cried together. Everyone is crying all the time. I don’t like that they are upset.
The only one who even looks at me is Buster. He was scared at first, but now he wags his tail when he sees me. That makes me smile. I can’t touch him, but he walks over to me and sits when I ask him. He’s a good boy. He looks right at me with his big brown eyes and it makes me feel a little bit better. Mummy and daddy sometimes ask him what he is staring at, and he cries when they take him for walks. I think he knows that I don’t like to be in the house by myself. I tried to follow them, but I can’t get out. I think I’m stuck here.
I really hope mummy and daddy will speak to me again. I must have done something wrong for them to be so angry with me. Whatever I did it’s made them so sad, and I’m really sorry. I just wish they’d talk to me, and everything will be alright. I love my mummy and daddy so much, I don’t want them to be sad. It’s so lonely when they won’t speak! How long will I have to wait until they love me again?